Well, I’ve been doing this for weeks now and we’ve finally reached the nadir. Pardon me if I feel the need to “go medieval” on this next vegetable’s “ass”.
Okra, you foul, putrid excrescence. Born from slime and glaucous goo and only edible by the definition of the word which means “non-toxic.” You boast the color of nuclear waste and the flavor of raw sewage. You seep slime from your pores and befoul the earth with your stink. Cooking you would be an insult to my cheap-ass Farberware from Target. Shitting you would be redundant.
The only good thing I have to say about you is that there was a great fake commercial for Okra Cola with Steve Martin on Saturday Night Live when I was growing up, but I can’t even link to it since it’s not on fucking Hulu. When you’re too despicable for the internet, baby, you’ve hit bottom.
-∞/10. It just doesn’t get any lower.
image via wikipedia
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