Anonymous asked: Dear farmers, grocers, restauranteurs, etc: Honeydew is just unripe cantaloupe. It's the celery of the fruit world. Stop holding out on us and give us more fucking strawberries.
Yeah, more like Honeydon’t, AMIRITE?
Then again, if you’ve ever tasted a really good honeydew melon - and they do exist (though you have to get yourself invited to a brunch at Kennebunkport or a really high-end bat mitzvah or something) - you realize that real honeydew melon is actually fucking amazing, and 99%* of the rest of them are just watered-down crap, and then you stop being blasé about being served bad fruit, and instead get militantly angry. Fuck the fruitiers! To the ramparts! Let us not stop till the last transgressor lays rotting in its rind!
Or you just stick to cantaloupe. Whatever.
I will be blogging more sporadically until end of summer. It’s just too hot to hate effectively.
* see what I did there?